aku syg kau..percyalah..

aku mencintai kau..sbb kau adalah kau..kau bnyk mengalah..stiap prblahan kau pasti akn pulihkn keadaan..aku sdr kesengsaraan saat kau bersama aku..menahan stiap kta2 aku..stiap amarah aku..maaf tnpa aku sdari sikap aku bnyk menyakiti kau..kau dah bnyk brubh demi perhubungan ini..aku nmpak..nmpak..tq..dan aku masih ttp aku..sukar utk buang sikap aku..tp mmg sush utk aku mnidakkn apa yg aku fikir..prcya atau tdak..stiap kali aku menyakiti kau..stiap itu aku ada penyesalan..aku akan brfikir sjenak stiap kali aku mluahkn perasaan..aku akn fkr sprti apa yg kau ktakn..fikir apa yg kau rasa..walaupun agak sukar bg aku..aku akan fikir..dan hasilnya..aku brsalah..brsalah.. mulai saat ini..aku brjanji dgn diri aku..agar percya smua kta2 kau..xbrmksd sblm ini aku tdak prcya..tp skrg..sprti yg aku ckp..perubhan kau..slagi kau masih stia..aku jga bgitu..aku prcya smua kta2 kau..tp maafkn aku..sblm ni..apa yg kau cuba trgkn stiap persoalan yg tmbl..aku akn mmbri kau kkcewaan..sprti yg kau slalu kta..tiada guna kalau bg tahu pun..awk xkn prcya..tp skrg..kau dah xperlu lg brbuat sprti dlu..sbb aku dh bleh nmpk..
"walaupun sy dah syg awk skrg,xbrmksd awk bleh marah sy slalu".. walaupun aku slalu memarahi kau..xbrmaksud aku x menyayangi kau..
harapan yg aku ltak tramatlah tggi..harap..dlm bnyk harapan yg aku harapkn sprti sblm ini mnjdi brbndg harapan yg lepas.. aku brharap..hanya aku seorg yg dpt kau syg dan kau cintai..sehingga akhirhayatmu nanti..sbb cinta x smestinya memiliki..aku syg kau..walaupun kau dah rsa prkataan syg dari aku dah x mmbwa apa2 erti..tp tiada prktaan lain yg dpt mnnjukkan apa yg aku rasa selain aku syg kau..percayalah..

Ilysm

There is a person tht i cll love,a person tht undrstnd me,the only prson tht hve accptd me the way i am,the person tht nvr hina me,a person tht really nice to me,N the only persn tht i love the most,bcz of the tears tht cme out frm her makes me fall in love wth her,her tears tht showd me the honesty tht cme frm through her heart,n tht the person tht i cnt stp thnkg bout her, person tht tell me the reason y i need to live,the person tht really important to me,
Tht i really love straight frm my heart..the person tht will makes my lfe empty when she left me,when i dnt get her text,when i dnt get her cl,when i dnt knw wht her cndtion is,ths is the only persn tht i lve,the person tht always hurt by me,the person tht i cll a bad liar,deep frm my heart,i want u to knw tht i lve u n i cnt lve wthout u..
I love u my love,i mean it..

It has been a year..

Happy anniversary syg..dah sthun..tp tu lh..rse mcm bru knl awk,nth bleh thn smpai ble kte ni kn,sy xkn hlang awk kalau awk nk cri org lain,itu hak awk,sy rse sy nk knl lbh lg ngn awk,sy tawu msti de smthng yg awk xpnh cite kt sy,nnti lh yg tu,pape pown sy dah stahun ngn awk,n the cnclusion is,sy syg awk,slagi sy xbenci awk walaupun awk dah tggl sy,and one more thg,thnkz 4 make me happy n sad slama ni,idup sy lbh brmkna sjak ada awk,U cmpltd my lfe,sy syg awk spnh ati sy,xde owg laen yg dpt gnti tmpt awk,sy nk sgt luang mse ngn awk,shri 2 xpnh ckup,sy nk lbh,thnkz sbb jd cinta sy,hehe k tq,ilysm lutfiah !

It has been a year..

Lysm mohamad shafiq ahmad jaafar.u cmplete me.epy anniversary too..sye x brnh nak msg.kan awk bg warning td org gne sim awk.i am epy 2 have u in my life.i hold ur love and i really want both of us 2 hold it 2gether.u make me smile,sad and laugh at the samf time.. Thx 4 everythng.thx 4 willing 2 b there 4 me.its more than enuf 2 have u

its gonna be my last post on this blog...or should i continue....

naaa...haha... xde...last je nih...wat blog baru...hehe..ni sje2 je...tmpat luah perasaan..k..bye

Its Over...

The story between she & me end on 9 April 2010..ohh xlah lme sgt kan...hehe
ok la tu..15/8/09~9/4/10...
theres nothing more to say...
nothing more can change...
its already an old story..
and..i got a song for her..
kertas band~selamat tinggal kekasih..
tepat pd aku..
ntah pd dia..
haha..
dah2
xnak jwang2 dah dowh....

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its a last song for u...the person tht i loved..lutfiah..goodbye..

Haha...

im fool to in love wth tht kind of person...
dia sapa..aku sapa...
aku silap...xnmpk dari awal..
aku cuba untuk...mnjadi yg terbaik...setia...bg dia...ttp...
tiada balasan yg baek yg aku dpt...
alhamdulillah..
semoga bahagia lah kau disamping owg yg kau syg...moga tuhan balas apa yg hg buat..ok..
slmat tggl..

Hey....guest what i get when i woke up..

Its too early to get in a serious relationship.i keep on thnkg..and yah if thts wht u want..i wont bother u anymore..u need sum1 whose near to u not far away from u.thngs between us wont workout..thx u 4 taking care of me..i won't stop loving u.and we will remain as friend.bye

this what i get..hmm..kadang2 aku pk balik...kau ni bodoh jugak ye...kau xpaham aku lagi...knape??knape kau tgglkan aku saat aku mcm ni..hmm...knape kau anggap semua tu crius..knape x pujuk aku mcm aku dah tulis td..haha..sbb kau xtawu..
'u need sum1 whose near to u not far away from u'..
what's this?haha..u know everythg..haha so funny..yah u rght...but dalamkepala hotak u je..
sbnarnya x...hmm..
"thngs between us wont workout" yah...kau dah bnyk kali ulang..tq..
'i won't stop loving u.'...n what this mean????????

This What i Worte Last Night B4 i Sleep....criusly...i cant sleep until 5 a.m..

Slama ni..aku nak dia nmpk...apa pengorbanan yg aku buat...
mgkin sbb aku xnmpak pengorbanan yg dia buat..
kadang2...aku pk balik...
dia slalu cakap pasal kepercayaan aku kat dia..
mmg betul apa yg dia rasa...tiada kepercayaan yg aku berikan..
aku sedar..cara aku melayan dia selama ni..
x sperti yg dia inginkan..xsperti yg aku cakapkan..'xkesah'..
atlast...baru ak tawu aku ni owg yg mcm mn...dia dah menyedarkan aku...
dan aku GAGAL..
dia slalu cakap...dia amek risiko utk bercinta ngan aku..
dan sbb tu lah aku pk balik....
adakah apa yg aku wat slama ni..
membuatkannya rasa trpaksa..
ak mnx maaf...slama ni...ak x pnah pk pown apa yg dia rasa...
apa perasaan dia bila ak wat benda yg xspatutnya..
ak xpnah nak jaga hati dia.....tapi dia sebaliknya...
aku brtuah sbb dapat peluang utk dgnnya...
tp aku yg xpandai mghargai...slama ni aku clap..bnda kekurangan yg aku slalu cakap pada dia...
sbnarnya ada pada aku...aku yg xpandai nak mghargai...aku bodo..
skrg....aku rasa bersalah sgt.....
xtahu apa lagi yg harus kuucapkan selain MAAF...
dia trlalu baik pada ku..
xprnah mnunjukkan kemarahan...xprnah mnunjukkan kebencian...
xpernah luahkan apa rasa yg xpuas hati...
dia mmg bnyk pendam...x macam aku..
LUAHkan segalanya...
aku kagum dgn dia..
Andaikata suatu hari nanti...kata putus keluar dari bibirnya..
aku tahu kenapa sebabnya...
di mana silapnya....
semuanya sebab aku sendiri....
aku memang xlayak utk pmpn mcm dia..she deserve a better man...
skali lagi...aku mnx maaf ats sgala yg tlah aaku lakukan...aku xpnah nak mghargai kau...kau hebat...boleh bertahan dengan aku... tp aku lemah...
kerna aku kuat cemburu...
dctulah berpuncanya...masalah yg sering aku timbu;lkan...
aku xboleh buang perasaan tu..tp aku akan cuba kurgkan...aku akan layan kau...
sprti mn yg kau harapkan...privacy..
hmm....slama ni...kau tiada privacy...ya....semua sbb aku..

Aku mengaku...aku trlebih cemburu...emosi..berbanding kau...menyebabkan ak pk bkn2....dan mgganggu pvcy kau...
aku clap...perbuatan aku yg aku sangka selama ni owg suka...rupanya x...
ak mnx maaf ats perbuatan ku selama ni...tiada prvcy dlm kamus hidup aku....
sbb tu aku xpnah trpk psl pvcy hdup owg...bg aku..prvcy cuma  sekdar utk aku dan kau..
tu sudah mncukupi...hmm...
dia tiada kekurangan..
cma..owg mcm aku saja yg trclap..
tp...trus trang aku bg taw...aku trsgt lah cemburu ble kau brcakap dgn owg laen...
walau sepahit mn pown yg ku rasa...ku harus menelannya...sbb itu lah kau...
xbnyk yg boleh aku bggakan dgn kau..kau jauh lebih hebat...ibarat lgt dgn bumi..aku rela melepaskanmu....
walaupun bnda tu mmg trsgt lah susah bgku.....kerna aku sedar..
siapakah aku..
owg yg xlayak utk owg macam kau...haha..
ak gelak sbb aku trpk sal perubahan yg brlaku pd diriku..
aku sedar...bnyk aku dah berubah....
im so sorry if i always suffocating ur life...
xde niat nak wat mcm tu..
nak buat kau rse rimas...terkong2..tiada prvcy..tp percayalah..
semuanya sebab..aku terlalu sygkan kau..
dan..ak slalu terlalu emo..
im so sorry..ya sy ngaku...but seemo aku pown...xkan lame..hehe..
smtmes..i speak to myself...ish gf aku xromantic langsung lah....kot r nk pujuk aku ka....haha...
mengalahkan pmpn kn...hmm... i knw u dnt want to listen to ths...i dnt like a person tht kedekut..dan berkira..(yg laen taw dah kan...lier..xtepati janji).. thts y i mad at u aritu...coz i hate dat kind of person...
sorry kalau trase..frm da frst tme...i knw u until nw..i stil dnt c it..
hmm 4gve me to say tht....
but i want u to know...i happy wth u...n i'll always love u.....
4 gve me 4 everythg...
aku cinta kau x bermakna aku akan memiliki kau selamanya...

The Truth is..

deeply in my heart...hurts..bleeding...lot of scratches..
y??
y u always...
hurt me?
is that the way u show ur love?
i dont get it..
i try my best for u..
but i dont know...
what i am doing...
is always wrong for u..
im the one tht always try to take care of ur feeling..ur heart..
but..
u xpnah..knape?
im sad...
u away from me..
y r u doing this to me?
i already fall in love wth u..
y dont u..
arghh..
u never get what i mean..
hun...smbody told me...to let u go..
but...i tell her...xsampai hati..
y..hmmmph....
sedihnya...
dulu waktu first2.....u btol2 la tunjukkan yg u crius...syg..
tp...masa brganti masa...hari brganti hari...bulan brganti bulan...sy sedar...
suma yg dulu dah berubah..
ada owg cakap....sbb bosan...
sy kena trima hakikat sprti tu...walaupun sakit hati bila memikirkannya.
sy xpnah pown...bg alasan...walaupun penat skali pown...kalau boleh....sntiasa nak dgn awk...
cakap dgn awk..
tp.....knape awk sebaliknya?
sy rse brsalah sgt...bila awk ckp...
plz...i beg u...i need to rest..
sy paham...
tp...hmmph....dah lah...mengeluh kat cni pown...tiada gunanya....awk xkan paham...
sy x pnah bosan sgn awk...
trus terang sy cakap...sy trase ble awk slalu wat sy mcm nih...
ble awk brgayut ngan owg laen...
ble awk dgn prvcy awk tuh...chat yg...hmmmm paham2 je lah...
knape..mcm ni r????
apa salah sy??

Aku ngah..

bosan sbenanye...lme da x update...skunk nih aku ngah mncari keje lk...
24 nih...ku g amek lesen..sbulan lg ic baru..
ape yg aku nak merepek nih...
sorry...xde moood r skrg..
t lah aku update laen..msa xde,,bye

Sorry

lame x update nih...coz xde bnyk peluang nak update...
xde mse sbnrnye..
ermmm result aritu kuar ok je...
skunk ngah mncari2 u plak tuk sambung blaja..

alhamdulillah...

today is the most bad day for my gf..
she got a big problem..
a really2 big problem..
what the problem is??
haha..
secret..
all my afforts to make them happy again was worth...
hahaha..im cryng for others..haha coz im so happy to see them back to normal..
alhamdulillah..

What am i thinking????????????????????????????????????????

this is a reminder for myself..
weyhh...awat ang xleyh nak caya kat dia??
plz la...ubah sikap tu..
bodo la hg ni..
bg la dia happy...
law pown hg rasa dia tipu..tp trnyata x..
hg accept ja la..
wat2 xtaw
lembut sgt aehhh...
mana diri hg yg dulu??
awat sensitif sgt dah sekarang nih..
kalau hg rasa dia tipu hg...hg biaq ja la..
nt tuhan tunjuk sendiri kat dia..
apa2 pown..bawak bnyk bersabar...ok??

Its a day...i went to her house..

i woke up in the morning after i heard my phone rang..its a message from her..
she told me to come by ten in da morning to hve breakfast together..
so...i get my self wet...9.45am.. my uncle n i...went to her house..
haha..
he missed da first turn to da putra heights..
so..he make a u-turn..
then...he missed again..n make a u-turn once more..
with a help from makcik juai goreng pisang...she told us wheres the seksyen 2 road..
my uncle arrvd infront of the 7eleven where she told me wait for her...sharp 10 am..
so...cakap melayu la bez..haha
erm..
aku tggu la dia...adess kol2...tepon r maksud aku...baru mandi...
ayam toll..haha...xpela..tbe2..perut aku wat hal lak...adessss...saakitnya perut...nak trkucil...
50 minit pastu...baru dia dtg...tu pown naek basikal...ish3...lambat..
ktowg g makan at kdai mamk tu dulu...tp aku ni ha...ntah nape pg tu...xlalu nak mkn langsung..
pas je mkn...g umah die...ade ke..die tgglkan aku sowg2  jln kaki...kejamnya..
dalam ati aku kata...sabaq ja la...da cara ni dia layan bf dia...haha
trima r..
so aku jalan la...sampai2 umah...pasang meja pulak kat luar...ok gak r...
nseb x jumpa depan pagaq ja..uishh adek2 dia mmg bez r...lawak..
pastu...aduhhh sakit perut...haha dapat gak aku masuk umah..tp sbnrnya tandas je..haha..
jd la kan drpd x masuk lgsung..
lega...tp aritu..erm...nak ckp bosan pown ada gak...camne ntah...da x cam slalu la owg ckp...mgkin sbb da lame x jmpe..
ye la kot..cam ne r...x romantik...maybe sbb...ermm..mle a nk pk bkn2..haha(my bad habbit) tp xpe la..sharp je kol 2...trus aku dan dia jalan ke kdai td...mnum air...tgkp2 gambar..bez la time tu...xde gangguan...tp x la pvcy sgt coz btol2 tgh kedai mamak...hahaha
ok la..
pkol 3 lebih baru p.ngah aku sampai...n aku balik..
camne r...xtrluah pown prasaan aku nih..hurmm..

tomorrow..

2 hours past..mata maseh pedih..
mgharap sgt..tu la..
hampir putus asa dah td..
nseb baek la kali ke bapa bawu dia angkat fon..
she told me that she really2 cant go to that place..
hmm...so xpe lah..die cakap dtg umah..
pilihan terakhir yg aku ada..
so im going to her house tomorrow...
arap xde lak yg x jadik..
dont know...how long im going to be there..
i wish atleast she invite me to come in..
but if not..erm...its already enough...coz...
the reason y i want to meet her is already achieved at that time..
ill give to her what hve i brought from kedah..
what hve i bought for her..
i really hope..i can meet her..
maybe...erm...xde pe lah..

Allahhuakbar...Allahhuakbar..

Ku pergi menyambut pggilan Ilahi...selesainya sembahyang isyak di masjid...ku pulang ke rumah bersama p.ngah skeluarga..ku berlari memasuki bilik...tempat tidurku menumpang...terus ku mencapai telefon bimbitku di atas katil..saat itu...hancur musnah harapan ku...air mata ku...xdapat ku tahan..
hati ku terus terkilan..."esok x jadi g la...keta kawan rosak..' aduhh...sakit nya hatiku...
ni boleh wat aku jadi gila..ku terus menelefonnya walaupun kredit berbakikan 9 sen..
waktu tu...aku da berserah kat tuhan...xdapat ku menahan air mataku dari terus mengalir..
berkali2 ku cuba menghubunginya..tetapi gagal..tiada jawapan..
ku terpaksa mengadu pada ibuku..kerana dia lah tempat terakhir utk aku mengadu..
ibuku menelefonku..sayu aku hendak memberitahunya..
jam menunjukkan 12 malam...aku masih mencuba utk menelefonnya..tetapi masih tiada jawapan...saat ni..aku dah rasa..putus harapan...aku check facebook..taip nme dia..rupa2nya...dia da wat satu lagi fb tanpa pengetahuan aku..harapan ku..hancur..
jadi sekarang...aku dah insaf..aku dah taubat...aku nak mulaan hidup baru..
trcari2 lagi..apa kekurangan aku pd dirinya..bebekalkan iman yg tipis ni..
ku masih bertahan...utk tidak melakukan perkara di luar jangkaan..
alhamdulillah...tuhan kuatkan semangat aku..moga2...dia berbahagia...dengan siapa dia di luar sana...assalamualaikum

happy oo0o

baru je pas abes gayut ngan awe td...erm...ari ahad ni set nak jumpa kat sunwy..
tp problemnye..xtawu g kol bape..
i hope...its going to b da bez day ever...
coz...we already cpl for 6 1/2 month but only date for only 3 times including this..
ermm...she dont know yet...i bought her a teddy bear...hope she like it..
but i thinkk she juz wat2 x tawu yg sy bwk tddy bear..dia da bole agak da..
n i want to make it a surprise although its too late..
sy iggt nak wat cam ni r...first2 skali sampai je sunway...nak g cari tmpat smpn brg...hehe smpn tddy bear kat ctu..
then da nak balik bawu soh die g amik..
ehehe...ok la kot kan...

erm...

i wish...my gf is like others gf..
i wish...im the only one tht she would always want to talk..
i wish...she dont hide bout me to others so other people cant take her uyfrom me..
i wish...she can be with me always...
i wish...she loves me more than any other than she love..
i wish...she can take a good care of my hearts..but i dont think she can..
i wish...she could be mine..
but..my wishes...is all beyond her mind..
i dont think...she knows how i feel...
when she talks to other guy without talking to me..
and i hope...she never lie..
i dont think so...coz i know...she would lie...if its for a good reason..

alamak..

hehe...prob yg td tu da selesai...hehe cam biase r aku...slalu pk bkn2..
so pd sesape yg kat luar yg bce ni..
law de masalah slalu pk bkn2 sal gf/bf kowg...jgn trlampau2 cam aku ni k..
papepown...tny dulu...ahaha...silap sndri nak marah owg...hehe..malu2..

sakit ati nihhhh

bf sndri x pnah col langsung!! tapi ble bace cmmnt owg len antar kat fb awek sndri..
brsepai ati aku...dia ni...xpnah pk sal aku ke r??xbrsyukur langsung dapat aku...
da bape negeri aku merantau nak jmpe die..
dari kedah sampai kl ni..
aku taw la aku x kaya cam dia...
tapi...xboleh ka...tunjuk skit...maksud aku..hargai apa yg aku buat ni..
aku da penat keja...tgn aku habih naik menggerutu...
penat..wat over time slalu..cari duit...
aku bli hadiah utk hg...tp...cam ni ka cara hg balas jasa aku...sedih la..

When my love towards her going to an end??

the answr is never..coz i love her...forever...until the second of my life in heaven..

i dont know....whats her feelings towards me..but my feelings towards her is for sure..